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Attitude. - 11/26/2008 4:33:27 PM
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BeautifulFemale
Posts: 118
Joined: 6/21/2008
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Recently, I was told by a good friend that I come across as POSH - reserved/classy and not as playful/professional compared to my inner being who is carefree, fun, funny and caring! Why would this apparent attitude I display make guys feel insecure?
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RE: Attitude. - 11/27/2008 1:48:51 AM
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OneJohn410
Posts: 1512
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You have an apparent attitude that comes across as being
reserved
classy
not as playful
not as professional
while you consider yourself to be
carefree
fun
funny
caring
------------------------------------------------------------
so all I see is the first half, and why does that make guys insecure?
If that makes them insecure, I've got three ideas for why that's happening.
1. Guys are thinking there's more to you than this apparent attitude, and more in a direction they cannot associate with, that their style and yours would be knocking heads.
2. Guys are thinking you are wearing a mask to be unapproachable, and have no idea who you are.
3. Guys are seeing your apparent attitude and your actual self and are not sure if you are trying to hide part of yourself or who you are.
Maybe this will bring on some other thoughts. I'd put your friend to task, and ask them to make a list of things through a week's time that is clearly 'poshness' vs. how they think the real you would possibly have responded, since you've got a thoughtful friend. Maybe you could do the same for him or her.
_____________________________
For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope. -Romans 15:4 (NIV)
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RE: Attitude. - 11/27/2008 2:48:09 PM
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BeautifulFemale
Posts: 118
Joined: 6/21/2008
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lol...John, you're always helping...answering my questions...thank you!:)
Actually, it's AS professional, not as playful, reserved and classy.
She said that, that's probably the reason a guy was trying to impress me a great deal.
What I'm starting to see is that life can't be controlled by us humans. w e can make decisions which mold us towards certain things/places, but we don't ultimately know the destination.
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RE: Attitude. - 11/28/2008 10:49:53 AM
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willfs
Posts: 347
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I saw a show last night where a guy was offering to buy a woman a drink. The woman was very, very reserved (type triple A personality). Of course the guy was acting real stuck on himself. But I imagined if I was to do the same and try to meet this woman. I realized that is scary enough to try to talk to a woman at times and if she is real reserved then she may be insenitive and make it more difficult. But different guys react differently. Some guys might be intrigued and want to get to know the mystery behind the cold outer exterior.
I have had people at work tell me that I can come off as real reserved. They later find out I am a goof ball. I wonder if it is my insecurity that is driving it. I don't know.
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RE: Attitude. - 11/28/2008 11:01:02 AM
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mrtigger
Posts: 322
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I'm not exactly sure what "POSH" means but it sounds like it might mean upper class kind of woman. A guy might think it means he won't measure up to her expectations or maybe she is high maintenance and he can't afford her. Or couldn't even have a chance to get even a first date.
That's my guess anyway of why a POSH woman might make a guy feel insecure.
_____________________________
mr tigger
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RE: Attitude. - 11/28/2008 2:27:02 PM
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terryjohn
Posts: 471
Joined: 3/23/2007
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I meat a girl at college who was as you say appeared and behaved posh. She was a beautiful girl but I felt she was beyond us boys as if she had bigger fish to catch and only later did I discover our attitude annoyed her. All I can say is she should have made a bigger effort to appear and be otherwise.
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RE: Attitude. - 12/8/2008 5:44:36 PM
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lightbeamrider
Posts: 135
Joined: 6/6/2008
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U have no control over how other people perceive u. Physical beauty can be intimidating to a lot of men. It can indicate perfection and remind us mere mortals of our flaws.
Once i was married to a pretty female and i got tired of beating the guys off and trying to keep her happy which was impossible. I was the brunt of my older brothers jokes. He never married and is now rich. Anyways a medical doctor took a fancy to her. At the time i was not Christian, and it may have meant little difference if i was. I wanted to beat the pulp out of this doctor in the worst way. Then i came to the grim realization that perhaps they deserve each other. I suppose that was the hand writing on the wall which indicated the end of this marriage. When the marriage ended i got out with a broken down Dodge van, my clothes and my tools. She got everything else including me paying child support for the next 20 yrs. After we separated she gained weight and her looks went a little south. I suppose alpha females are hard to get and can be even harder to hold on to. They have options open to them in that they can usually attract other men who are more accomplished. I have seen this happen more than once. Anyways if i had to do it all over again i would have married that girl from high school who had a crush on me who wasn't such a hot shot. She ended up being a great wife to the man she eventually married.
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RE: Attitude. - 12/8/2008 6:51:24 PM
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1mlasp
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to me, posh = high maintenance
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RE: Attitude. - 12/9/2008 3:46:43 AM
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Josh4LinC
Posts: 115
Joined: 11/11/2008
From: Minnesota
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Keep in mind, too, that us guys are in our heads just as much as you gals. In many cases, we're probably more so, because we don't always feel manly opening up about those feelings and perceptions we have. We do wonder if we stand a chance, and we do tend to fear public rejection. Reserved and classy (as opposed to loud and trashy) is a good quality, but fun and carefree is just as important for the guys to see. It makes one approachable.
Do not, however, forget that the reserved and classy side can be used as a defense mechanism when you know the wrong type of guys are around.
_____________________________
In Christ Jesus,
Josh
“Well,” says one, “I like to be my own master.” Yes, and that involves two things;
first, you have a very bad master; and, next, your master has a fool for his servant.
- Charles Spurgeon
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