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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/2/2008 1:45:54 PM
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TwinCityGirl
Posts: 1191
Joined: 4/12/2005
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Hi, Amber, and congratulations!
My sister had a C-section with her twin boys on November 3rd. At her 6-week check-up the doctor told her it is NORMAL to have pain on one side of your incision (or the other) for UP TO A YEAR after the surgery. Very, very normal.
He also told her some of her other pains were from her organs trying to make their way back to the now-empty spaces caused by the twins' vacancy, and that it would hurt for a bit while things made their way back to where they were pre-pregnancy.
She is really picky about her house being clean (in a good way picky) but with twins, and being a first-time mom -- even when her very, very critical mother-in-law stops over and makes snide comments on "If I'd paid what you'd paid for these hard-wood floors I would try to keep them a little cleaner", she has learned to BLOW THAT OFF. She has even told her MIL multiple times (fairly politely, but sternly if she has to) "Right now my priority is our two boys. Their feeding and care is my FIRST and ONLY priority right now. The floors can wait." And her MIL always backs down and tries to make it all jokey "Oh, I was kidding...." etc., but my sister knows she is NOT kidding about such things.
And now that her boys are 8 weeks old she has found short smidgens of time here and there when they are sleeping when she blitzes through the house and sweeps the floors or unloads the dishwasher (her husband is back at work, and yes, he is helpful when he's there). But I think it's normal and totally okay to let things slide a little bit when your newborn and you are getting in sync with each other. It is far more important your baby learns how to nurse properly than for you to have the laundry put away.
I'm sure it's a hard adjustment to go from a 2-person adult household where you can have it as clean as you want whenever you want to a 2-adult/1-newborn household where there are also pain issues, physical healing, lack of rest, and skills for baby and parents to learn going on. Make sure to cut yourself some big-time slack on all the topsy-turviness your little one has brought into your house (the best topsy-turviness you can get!).
Congratulations, again, Amber!
Jeanie
p.s. I have a close friend who had a C-section 11 months ago and is still dealing with pain issues from the surgery. She was relieved to hear that my sister's doctor told her that is not at all unusual. Maybe not all doctors will be that blunt about it, but it brought my friend some comfort that she is "normal".
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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/8/2008 11:25:01 PM
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TammyIsBlessed
Posts: 1478
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But definitely use the KY jelly at first!!!
_____________________________
I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. I will not refuse to do the something I can do. Helen Keller
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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/9/2008 7:36:17 AM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10214
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
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Jessica, we're all different and our bodies heal differently. I know other people who have waited 6-8 weeks after every baby, so you're not alone. Not everyone will be ready sooner, but there is not a huge reason to wait if you both are ready and are careful.
_____________________________
He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him;
He hears their cry and saves them.
The Lord watches over all who love him,
but all the wicked He will destroy.
~Psalm 145:19-20~
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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/9/2008 9:01:37 AM
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Sideways
Posts: 3943
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: paulsbride
 Ok, I'll be the odd one out... we waited till about 6-7 weeks pp. It was tough, seeing as we'd waited so long before hand (me being on bed rest) but really, we tried, and I *was not* ready for it earlier than the 6-7 week mark (*I* was, down there was not!)
SO many women say they resumed sex within 2-4 weeks after having a baby, I struggled with not being able to jump back so quickly... and I think it's important to stand up and say that we waited (hubby was definitely supportive and patient!!) and we survived the wait, and it was just too painful to resume any sooner.
But if you can start sooner, by all means do!
We waited as well, and I'm not ashamed of it. My husband was also very kind and patient. Even when we did resume intimacy, it was not the same for months and months. Only one position was possible for us for a long while, and I had a lot of pain and dryness.
You have the rest of your martial life to have sex. I don't see why some women would need to pressure themselves into having sex and deal with a newborn.
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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/9/2008 9:06:14 AM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10214
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
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quote:
You have the rest of your martial life to have sex. I don't see why some women would need to pressure themselves into having sex and deal with a newborn.
Maybe I'm abnormal, but I wanted that connection almost as much as my husband did. There was no pressure by either of us and he would have waited if I needed him to.
_____________________________
He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him;
He hears their cry and saves them.
The Lord watches over all who love him,
but all the wicked He will destroy.
~Psalm 145:19-20~
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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/9/2008 9:12:57 AM
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Sideways
Posts: 3943
Joined: 4/12/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna
quote:
You have the rest of your martial life to have sex. I don't see why some women would need to pressure themselves into having sex and deal with a newborn.
Maybe I'm abnormal, but I wanted that connection almost as much as my husband did. There was no pressure by either of us and he would have waited if I needed him to.
And that's fine, Donna. I'm not looking down on those who didn't wait. If you were ready and it presented no physical danger, then I'm glad for you.
But I do believe a lot of women feel pressured into "meeting their husband's needs", before they are physically or emotionally ready.
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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/9/2008 9:15:51 AM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10214
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
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Okay, I must have misread what you wrote because I thought you were saying that if people had relations earlier than "recommended", they were feeling pressure to do so.
Some may pressure themselves, and some husbands may put pressure on too. But SOME people are also emotionally and physically ready earlier than 6 weeks, and I think that's perfectly okay.
Amber sounded like she wanted to know when she could, not when she had to.
_____________________________
He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him;
He hears their cry and saves them.
The Lord watches over all who love him,
but all the wicked He will destroy.
~Psalm 145:19-20~
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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/9/2008 9:30:19 AM
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Mrs.Wifey
Posts: 4872
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna
quote:
You have the rest of your martial life to have sex. I don't see why some women would need to pressure themselves into having sex and deal with a newborn.
Maybe I'm abnormal, but I wanted that connection almost as much as my husband did. There was no pressure by either of us and he would have waited if I needed him to.
Your not abnormal, I felt the same way. It also wasn't just a physical need that wanted met, it was emotional.
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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/9/2008 11:07:26 AM
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isaacsmom
Posts: 2065
Joined: 12/2/2005
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quote:
I would have resumed activity two days later. But we waited 3 weeks until the bleeding was almost done. Every woman is different though. Postpartum is such an emotional time. Some women respond to the emotional upheaval by craving intimacy with their husband, other women respond by needing more recovery time.
Same here. I wanted to resume asap, but just waited till after bleeding. I missed hubby terribly! Those last several weeks when I'm huge intimacy is nearly impossible, which really gets to me.
quote:
I have a question... do you have less pain in the "hooha" after you have a c-section? Or is it still affected by the hormone changes?
No pain here, either time. Although my PH balance felt off some to me for a few weeks because of the hormones.
_____________________________
<<< My littlest punkin'
*~*~*Rachel*~*~*
pirtlefarm.blogspot.com
Beware of posing as a profound person -- God became a baby. ~Oswald Chambers
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RE: Post Pardum Talk...(cont'd) - 1/9/2008 11:31:00 AM
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Georgia-Peach
Posts: 1762
Joined: 6/2/2005
From: Georgia on my mind
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We were also the oddballs who waited (7-8 weeks) before resuming sexual activity. I am amazed at the women who feel up to it sooner, but I was not up to it. Between nursing around the clock, up during the night, a baby who would only sleep being held, the physical healing, cabin fever, and all the emotions sex was the last thing on my mind. I was plain worn out, but I did take care of husband's needs in other ways (sorry if that is TMI) and didn't leave him completely without during that time.
I do think some women do put pressure on themselves to jump back into the marital bed before they are ready, sometimes I think the husbands pressure them or make them feel guilty. I was blessed because my hubby was very patient and understanding. It wasn't that I didn't want to feel close to him in that way or take care of his needs. It came down to those first few weeks were really rough and I was not about to push myself beyond what I felt I could handle.
_____________________________
Chelle
A Mother holds her child's hand for a moment, but holds their heart forever.
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My husband is more than willing to help out, I just hated asking him. But I've started asking him and telling him things that need to be done. 
Are there dangers to not waiting?
Like Donna says, if you're not bleeding bright red and you feel ready.
I knew it was coming, but I did not want it to actually happen... well, I did but, ya know. With my period came my first migraine since the first trimester of pregnancy, I'm more upset about that then the cramps I have. Time to pull out my thermometer 
