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RE: The easily offended - 7/1/2008 11:05:53 PM
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Covaan_Meshuga
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Well, Phosadaud, to write that I am stunned would be to write an understatement. I can't remember seeing an offensive post written by you. Is my memory short or what?
Over the time I have seen you here, I have grown to respect you through your posts. While I am sure that we two do not see eye to eye at all times, what is that to me? It's not something I need to get my tongue all persimmony about.
But with regard to your question, I must admit that yeah, in most cases, I tend to sweet-talk such people into such a whirl that they can't think of anything but being sweet back to me. I talk the melted butter, then pour on the powdered sugar, and top it off with strawberries and cream (ever seen Paula Dean?). I didn't live in Mississippi for three-and-a-half years for nothing. I learned a lot there.
Those people down there can just hate your guts to the nth degree, but by the time you walk away from them, you would never know it, because they smile so sweetly and talk so purty that you'd think you're their best friend. They know who to treat that way: those for whom they don't want to waste their energy -- either physical or mental energy. So they know that they can flatter and charm such people until they lose all their energy, because all they want is flattery. They do that to save physical or mental energy. And the funny thing they also know is that they can smile in the mirror later, because they haven't said a single negative thing!
Yeah, Solomon had plenty to say about people who do this, but Solomon was a king and didn't have to do a lot of dealing with such.
Do you know what they used to say, when talking about someone who cussed them out? They called it something else. They would say, "You know that ol' Bobby Joe Pinkum? Well, I told him those persimmons he sold me were green and I wanted my money back, but he wouldn't do it. He just blessed me out!"  They had a way of expressing themselves.
And it works up here in Washington, too!
_____________________________
Abiyah
"Ladies and gentlemen, there are things that you will only be able to learn by the weakest among us, and when you snuff them out, you are the one that loses." ~~Gianna Jesson, 1977 LA, CA, saline abortion survivor
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RE: The easily offended - 7/1/2008 11:17:11 PM
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zamdad
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quote:
Is there a moral issue here? At what point does being "overly-sensitive" cross the lines of being manipulative for attention or simply "self-absorbed"? Or does it? How do you know when someone is just genuinely extra-sensitive to something because they are wounded or they are just looking for reasons to be offended or taking aggression out on you? How do you deal with folks/posters like this? Do you try to appease them? Just keep apologizing? Or push them away?
Like you Phosy, I've ruffled more than my share of feathers on this site. I've done the same thing in real life too. As has been pointed out, some people are too easily offended. If we're always concerned about hurting the feelings of another, how are we ever going to speak truth?
Sometimes truth hurts. When people are smacked upside the head with truth, what else are they supposed to feel but hurt/offended? It's your emotion, don't place the responsibility for your emotions on me. I don't control them and I don't want the control of your emotions you may be willing to give me. Is that an offensive statement? If so, take a long look in the mirror and ask the person you see there why it stings.
quote:
Cherished,
The burden of love is on you to not offend...not on how others react to you.
You can actually send another person to their grave by offending them....
Do you like walking on eggshells all the time? Your further comments in this thread do not support the statement you made here. I too think you have completely misread the OP.
_____________________________
The two hardest things to handle: failure and success.
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RE: The easily offended - 7/1/2008 11:22:18 PM
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phosadaud
Posts: 11126
Joined: 9/19/2005
From: Washington State
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quote:
ORIGINAL: zamdad
Sometimes truth hurts. When people are smacked upside the head with truth, what else are they supposed to feel but hurt/offended? It's your emotion, don't place the responsibility for your emotions on me. I don't control them and I don't want the control of your emotions you may be willing to give me. Is that an offensive statement? If so, take a long look in the mirror and ask the person you see there why it stings.
One of my pastors in college said once that the things that we are most often offended by are sometimes the things that we are often the most guilty of. It was really shocking for me to look into my heart and see how true he was. I have tried to keep that in mind now when someone is getting under my skin. Is there a genuine reason for offense or is this something I need to take care of in my own heart and that's why I'm so flustered by it?
_____________________________
~Kristin~
Classified Ads: "Government employer looking for candidates. Criminal background required."
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RE: The easily offended - 7/1/2008 11:27:52 PM
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Covaan_Meshuga
Posts: 3408
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quote:
ORIGINAL: phosadaud
One of my pastors in college said once that the things that we are most often offended by are sometimes the things that we are often the most guilty of.
I shall always be grateful that someone once said that to me, and the truth in the statement hit me so hard! I truly am what aggravates me most in others. It gives us all something to work on.
_____________________________
Abiyah
"Ladies and gentlemen, there are things that you will only be able to learn by the weakest among us, and when you snuff them out, you are the one that loses." ~~Gianna Jesson, 1977 LA, CA, saline abortion survivor
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RE: The easily offended - 7/1/2008 11:42:35 PM
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phosadaud
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CherishedbyGod - It's one thing to berate me, but if you are going to start insulting the other posters in this thread, I will report you.
_____________________________
~Kristin~
Classified Ads: "Government employer looking for candidates. Criminal background required."
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RE: The easily offended - 7/1/2008 11:57:09 PM
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crankius
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This is a very interesting thread.
In many ways.
Cherished, please excuse my ignorance, but could you please post the scriptural support for the term "offend"? Maybe you could provide a definition.
quote:
ORIGINAL: CherishedbyGod
Jesus has very, very harsh words for those that offend others....
Woe, woe, woe, He says....It would be better for them to have a millstone around their neck and drown than to offend another.
The burden of love is on you to not offend...not on how others react to you.
You can actually send another person to their grave by offending them....
These are the passages you are referring to in your post I believe:
Mt 18:6 - "But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
Mr 9:42 - "But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea.
Lu 17:2 - It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.
The offend in these passages is not just simply to cause displeasure. Jesus caused great displeasure when He ate wheat, and when He let Mary wash his feet with expensive perfume, and when He ate with sinners, and when He said a few not nice things...
To help with the discussion, I think we should clarify the terms.
I think Phosy was speaking of offense in the "cause displeasure" definition, while you might have thought she meant offense in the "cause to sin or stumble" definition.
_____________________________
Do not be overly righteous, Nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself?
Ecclesiastes 7:16
SYSTEMATIC THEOLOGY
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RE: The easily offended - 7/2/2008 12:00:45 AM
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crankius
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CherishedbyGod
quote:
ORIGINAL: phosadaud
CherishedbyGod - It's one thing to berate me, but if you are going to start insulting the other posters in this thread, I will report you.
I guess you did not believe me when I said I will leave it at that. Now, you have offended me, because you did not take me at my word...
Are you being serious?
_____________________________
Do not be overly righteous, Nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself?
Ecclesiastes 7:16
SYSTEMATIC THEOLOGY
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RE: The easily offended - 7/2/2008 12:03:16 AM
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crankius
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Which offend has Phosadaud caused--has she caused you to sin, or has she simply caused you displeasure?
_____________________________
Do not be overly righteous, Nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself?
Ecclesiastes 7:16
SYSTEMATIC THEOLOGY
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RE: The easily offended - 7/2/2008 12:04:51 AM
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phosadaud
Posts: 11126
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From: Washington State
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I'm certain at least #2 in this case...
_____________________________
~Kristin~
Classified Ads: "Government employer looking for candidates. Criminal background required."
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RE: The easily offended - 7/2/2008 12:16:31 AM
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zmanfan38
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From: ...for it's root, root, root for the CUBBIES!!!
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CherishedbyGod
Perhaps it might be good (I think it would be great!) to start another thread elsewhere on what offending means per the Biblical definition.
That is exactly what you're not understanding. I think we can all agree that being offensive is not a good thing. This whole discussion (minus your posts) has been about those who are offended by people who have not been offensive.
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«Christi»
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RE: The easily offended - 7/2/2008 12:25:02 AM
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crankius
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I once had a pastor who was brand new from seminary. He was very eager to not "offend". A congregant became offended with him because he didn't wear a tie while preaching, so he started wearing ties.
If we work very hard at not causing displeasure (offense) in others, we can actually become men-pleasers, which is not a good thing, ya know?
_____________________________
Do not be overly righteous, Nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself?
Ecclesiastes 7:16
SYSTEMATIC THEOLOGY
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RE: The easily offended - 7/2/2008 12:25:11 AM
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sue244
Posts: 399
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From: Colorado
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In reagards to the OP I think we live in a Society where people trive on being victims. So people will find away to be offended by anything and everything. I was talking to my best friend about this the other day and I was saying that I hink people put to much stock into what other people say. Especially strangers. A complete stranger could come up to me and call me what ever name they wanted to, and say whatever they wanted about me and I would probably be more amused then anything. I figure it would be a good story to tell my best friend. Now if someone I knew said that then I would be hurt but I would not act like it is runing my whole life like I have seen people on TV do over an insult.
Now I have one of those intense personalities, that I know can be off putting, even if I don't say anything. My best friends husband thought I was judgemental and harsh the first time he met me but after spending more time with me he realizes I just figure if people ask my opinion they they want my opinion and that I don't care if you take it or not. But I know that can be offensive to people but I feel that to lie would be worse then telling the truth about what I think when people ask, and I think that if people ask you for your opinion, if they are offended at your answer its their problem not mine.
_____________________________
"Indeed I Tremble for this country when I reflect that God is Just and His Justice cannot Sleep Forever"
Jefferson
"Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.” Churchill
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RE: The easily offended - 7/2/2008 12:28:47 AM
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Covaan_Meshuga
Posts: 3408
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So you, Sue, are one who might say to another, "If you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question." Yeah. I like that in people.
_____________________________
Abiyah
"Ladies and gentlemen, there are things that you will only be able to learn by the weakest among us, and when you snuff them out, you are the one that loses." ~~Gianna Jesson, 1977 LA, CA, saline abortion survivor
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RE: The easily offended - 7/2/2008 1:00:36 AM
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sue244
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From: Colorado
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Yeah, and I've gotten to the point where I will at least warn people by saying 'do you really want to know what I think?' But like I said I don't care if people take my opinion or not. People can take it or leave it, which remindes me I have also known people that are offended if you don't take their opinion and run with it so it can go all ways.
_____________________________
"Indeed I Tremble for this country when I reflect that God is Just and His Justice cannot Sleep Forever"
Jefferson
"Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.” Churchill
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RE: The easily offended - 7/2/2008 1:12:18 AM
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Covaan_Meshuga
Posts: 3408
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From: a mother who let me live
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Yeah, I do something similar. Once it's too late, I laugh and ask, "Do you want me to tell you the truth, or shall I lie?" After a little nervous laugh, they usually request the truth! Once, someone requested a lie, so I flattered them all over the place. Then they asked for the truth. We both had a good time with it.
But regarding this thread. it really has been interesting.  It's a wonder someone didn't come down on us! Fritz is probably just sitting there shaking his head.
_____________________________
Abiyah
"Ladies and gentlemen, there are things that you will only be able to learn by the weakest among us, and when you snuff them out, you are the one that loses." ~~Gianna Jesson, 1977 LA, CA, saline abortion survivor
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